Columbus

No this is no joke. The crisis is too serious by now. And as some discussion over the weekend showed and Greece exit of the Euro and the subsequent Spain run would ruin Switzerland, too. It’s like a big seesaw: If the Euro falls further, the pressure on the Swiss Franc will become unbearable. A Swiss Franc at parity to the Euro is no forlorn fiction anymore. It would be economic Armageddon.

Here’s our solution (Kudos to Toni) for the problem: Let Greece quit the Euro and join the Swiss Franc instead and an economic union with Switzerland (we stop short of a full political union – see below).

The immediate consequence: The Swiss Franc would fall to a sane level to the Euro and the Dollar within days. This might not be the equilibrium price but miles better than an abrupt split of the Euro zone with unintended consequences such as bank runs across pretty much all of southern Europe and economic devastation in the north including Switzerland.

There are a number of positive long term effects:

• This being a fiscal union between Switzerland and Greece we would enforce the Swiss tax collection efficiency in Greece through simple “holding the purse strings – calling the shots.”
• Both (most of) the Swiss and Greeks hate the EU. At last we can determine our destiny ourselves. The SVP and the Herliberg Godfather will agree (and probably cable to Brussels: “If you send some of our guys to the hospital we send some of your guys to
• Mrs. Rickli, SVP Turbo, will agree to this plan, too. We’ll send team Billag to Greece for tax collection. Finally someone who’s able to master the Greek tax evaders!
• The entire Greek tax evasion case would simply evaporate. Most money is anyway stored on Swiss banks. As of joining forces this money would become available to taxation (yes – we’d skip banking secrecy for the matter).
• Finally an old battle cry of the 68 generation comes true: “Freie Sicht aufs Mittelmeer – Nieder mit den Alpen (Free view towards the Mediterranean sea – tear down the alps): Switzerland will have sea access! (Hey Onassis, et al. any unused tankers around to built Gritzerland’s first aircraft carrier?)
• Instead of having a “Röstigraben” (Rösti ditch) we’ll have a Feta divide, lastly some home grown olives, and a sixth national language
• The impact of the 2^nd Home Initiative will be softened (this is to enlist support of the more conservative folks from the Alpine cantons. They simply merge with some remote community in Greece and presto the percentage of 2^nd homes drops with again plenty of more homes to be built (In Zermatt that is, not in Stropones)
• We’d be immediately among the best European football teams. No more lucky punches but a regular attendance at the great sporting events.
• Plus instead of debating a senseless second Gotthard road tunnel we’d shift the equipment to dig a tunnel straight from Chiasso to Patras. After all with all this uncertainty on both sides of the Adriatic sea you simply don’t want to make this journey overland, don’t you?!

The list may be extended – a number of additional advantages of Greece joining Switzerland will only come to light in the coming days.

To paraphrase some other slogan “Greece n’existe plus.”